A Select Collection of Old English Plays
Chapter 799 : OMNES. Young Strange!CAPT. POUTS. Heart! I was never sick before: help me now to a sur

OMNES. Young Strange!

CAPT. POUTS. Heart! I was never sick before: help me now to a surgeon, or I shall swoon instantly.

[_As two lead him, he speaks._ Thou wert born a woman-citizen; fare thee well.

And farewell, love and women, ye diseases: My horse and sword shall be my mistresses, My horse I'll court, my sword shall lie with me. [_Exit._

STRANGE. The way to cure l.u.s.t is to bleed, I see.

C. FRED. Tell him all, Scudmore, whilst I go a-wooing again. Sir John, will you go along, and my two wors.h.i.+pful elders, I pray, be your witnesses. Priest, go not you away. Heart! I have so ruminated on a wife, that I must have one this night, or I shall run proud.[65]

[NEVILL, SCUDMORE, BELLAFRONT, STRANGE, KATHERINE, _whisper in one part_. PENDANT, SIR ABRAHAM, _and_ WAGTAIL _in another_.

Mistress Lucida, you did once love me; if you do still, no more words, but give me your hand. Why are ye doubtful?

ABRA. Ne'er look upon me, Mistress Lucida; time was, time is, and time's pa.s.s'd. I'll none of you now: I am otherwise provided.

PEN. Well spoken, brazen-head![66] now or never, Sir Abraham.

ABRA. Then first, as duty binds, I crave consent Of my two parents dear: if ay, say so; If not, I'll ha' her, whether you will or no.

SIR INN. How? how?

L. NIN. I hope you will not.

ABRA. Ma'am, I am resolved: you have a humour of your aqua-vitae bottle, why should not I have a humour in a wife?

SIR J. WOR. An old man were a fitter match for her: He would make much of her.

ABRA. Much on her? I know not what ye call much making on her, I am sure I have made two on her.

PEN. And that an old man cannot do, I hope.

NEV. O thou beyond Lawrence of Lancas.h.i.+re.[67]

SIR INN. Come, come, you shall not.

ABRA. Speak not in vain; I am too sure to change, For hand and heart are sure: _Ecce signum_.

And this have I done, and never lay with her.

SIR J. WOR. Nay, then, 'tis too late; 'Tis sure: 'tis vain to cross the will of fate.

SIR INN. _and_ LADY. Well, well, G.o.d bless you.

[ABRAHAM _and_ WAGTAIL _kneel_.

ABRA. Thanks, reverend couple, and G.o.d bless withal The little Ninny that herein doth sprawl.

Parson, you shall despatch us presently: Lord, how soberly you stand!

PAR. Now truly I could ne'er stand drunk in my life.

STRANGE. Strange and most fortunate, we must have a new Tuck then.

C. FRED. Is it a match?

LUC. 'Tis done.

C. FRED. Then Bacchus squeeze grapes with a plenteous hand.

Parson, you'll take some pains with us to-night.

Come, brothers, come: fly, willow, to the woods, And, like the sea, for healths let's drink whole floods.

STRANGE. I consecrate my deed unto the city, And hope to live myself to see the day, It shall be shown to people in a play.

SCUD. And may all true love have like happy end.

Women, forgive me; men, admire my friend.

SIR J. WOR. On, parson, on; and, boy, outvoice the music.[68]

Ne'er was so much (what cannot heavenly powers?) Done and undone, and done in twelve short hours. [_Exeunt._

FOOTNOTES:

[59] [See _post_.]

[60] The difficulty of concealing love has been the origin of a humorous proverb in Italian. In Pulci's "Morgante Maggiore," iv. 38, Rinaldo thus taunts the most sentimental of the Paladins, Oliver, when he becomes enamoured of Florisena--

"_Vero e pur che l'uom non possa,_ _Celar per certo l'amore e la tossa._"

[See Hazlitt's "Proverbs," 1869, p. 269.]

Franco Sacchetti, in his sixteenth novel, expressly tells us that it was a proverb. _Perche ben dice il proverbio, che l'amore e la tossa non si puo celare mai._

[61] The question

"You, sirrah, Is my Lady Ninny awake yet?"

is given in the old 4 to Scudmore, but it belongs to Sir John Worldly. Scudmore is not on the stage.

[62] Old copy, _doing_.

[63] Old copy, _moustachios_.

[64] [The old copy and Collier give this speech to Strange.]

[65] [In the sense of _hot_, salacious.]

[66] An allusion to the well-known story of Friar Bacon and his brazen head, which spoke three times, but was not attended to by his man Miles. See Greene's "Friar Bacon and Friar Bungay," [in Dyce's edits, of Greene, and the prose narrative in Thoms's Collection, 1828.]

[67] A boisterous, clownish character in the play of "The Lancas.h.i.+re Witches," by Heywood and Brome. It was not printed until 1634. Either Lawrence was a person who figured in that transaction, and whose name is not recorded, or (which is not impossible) the play was written very long before it was printed.

[68] Perhaps the play originally ended with a song by a boy, in which the rest joined chorus.